Tuesday, July 21, 2015

A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us too."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place... the grass is almost a foot high!"


🌾😁🌾😁🌾😁🌾😁🌾
πŸ”†πŸ”±. Few disciples went to the master and told the master that they are all going for a pilgrimage trip. The Master asked them the purpose of this trip and the disciples said it is for " Inner Purification". The master immediately took out a Karela ( Bitter gourd) and handed over this to them . The disciples asked the master what is that they are supposed to do with the Karela. The master said carry this Karela with you , where ever you go and do Pooja , keep this Karela also in the pooja and do the pooja. The disciples took the karela with them and where ever they went kept the Karela in the pooja and brought it back. After returning back from the trip , they met the master and offered back the Karela to the master. The master asked them to cook that karela and serve the same to him . They cooked the Karela and served the food the master . Master tasted the food and the karela and said it is still bitter. You took this to every temple and came back and it is still bitter. Disciples said it is the nature of the bitter gourd.
The Master smiled and the disciples understood the meaning.
The significance of this story to all of us is that basically if we have to change, our nature has to change . Simply going there , going here is not going to help. It is important that the bottle has to be cleaned from inside. Outside everything can be adjusted or created. The inner nature has to change. The inner shift has to come and that is inner spiritualism and our Attitudes towards life, people , family, friends, community etc

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

This ones by far the best one I have got ever

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!"

Don't you just love lawyers πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

This can happen only in Mumbai, no where else. Only local train passengers in Mumbai will know how helpful commuters try to be.

Only last week, a hapless victim fell prey to the over enthusiastic Mumbai's local train commuters. Our hero, a man from Pune, wanted to go to Matunga, but as misfortune and trains would have it, he boarded a fast train not halting at his destination. He panicked on realizing his mistake but by then the local had already started moving.

On seeing his plight, a sympathetic co-passenger decided to come to his rescue. It seemed that he had been commuting by that particular train (6:03 pm Kasara Fast) for the past 6 years and had noticed that the train always slowed down just before Matunga station and crawled at a snail's pace while passing through it. He told the man to jump out of the running train as it slowed down and that with a little bit of fleet-footedness, he would make it safely on terra firma. However, knowing the man's inexperience, he added some words of caution: "Keep running the moment you jump or you'll fall. Just keep running." He stressed the word "running" lest the man not know the laws of motion.
The train did slow down just before Matunga station and at the prompting of his mentor, our hero jumped out of the train and started running as if all hell had broken loose. What he didn't realise, of course, was that he was running parallel to the train instead of running away from it.

Meanwhile, the train slowed down further, and the man was running faster than the train. In the process, he reached the door of the next compartment and the footboard commuters there pulled him in thinking he was trying to board the train! To his agony, train picked up speed and sped past Matunga and his new co-passengers started to congratulate him on how lucky he had been, until he told them that they had actually undone what he had done with great difficulty.

Those standing at the door of his "ex-compartment" had witnessed the whole drama and just couldn't stop laughing at the poor man's plight, while he grinned sheepishly!!!

Ae dil, hai mushkil, hai jeena yahaan,
Zara hatke, zara bachke,
Yeh hai Bombay meri jaanπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚