Monday, December 31, 2012

Kabhi pahli baar school jaane mei darr lagta tha,
Aaj akele hi duniya ghum lete hain ...

Pahle marks ke liye parte the,
Aaj paiso ke liye marte hai ...

Kabhi choti si chot lagne pe rote the,
Aaj dil tut jaane pe bhi sambhal jaate hai ...

Pahle hum dosto ke sath rahte the,
Aaj dost humari yaado mei rahte hai ...

Pahle larna manana roz ka kaam tha,
Aaj ek baar juda huye to rishte kho jaate hai ...

Pahle din bhar sab dost hamara birthday celebrate karte the,
Aaj facebook pe hi wish kar dete hain...

Pahle class mei har choti se choti si baat bhi share hoti thi,
Aaj apna mobile dikhane mei bhi dost hichkichate hain ...

Sach mei zindagi ne bahot kuch sikha diya,
Jaane kab humko itna bara bana diya ...

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Once, a Junior School teacher asked her students to bring some potatoes in a plastic bag to school. Each potato will be given a name of the person whom that child hates. Like this, the number of potatoes will be equal to the number of persons they hate.

On a decided day, the children brought their potatoes well addressed. Some had two, some had three and some had even five potatoes.

The teacher said they have to carry these potatoes with them everywhere they go for a week.

As the days passed the children started to complain about the spoiled smell that started coming from these potatoes. Also some students who had many potatoes complained that it was very heavy to carry them all around. The children got rid of this assignment after a week, when it got over.

The teacher asked, "How did you feel in this one week?"

The children discussed their problems about the smell and weight.

Then the teacher said, "This situation is very similar to what you carry in your heart when you don't like some people. This hatred makes your heart unhealthy and you carry that hatred in your heart everywhere you go. If you can't bear the smell of spoiled potatoes for a week, imagine the impact on your heart of this hatred that you carry throughout your life."

Our heart is a beautiful garden that needs a regular cleaning of unwanted weeds. Forgive those who have not behaved with you as expected and forget the bad things. This also makes room available for storing good things..
When I was younger:

.I'd put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost my armsX_X

.Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose:]Y

.Slept with all the stuffed animals and teddys as a child so none of them got offended({})

.Had that one pen with four colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once:)

.Poured soda into the cap and acting like I were taking shots*beer*

.Waited behind a door to scare someone, then leaving because they're taking too long to come out or you had to pee=))

.Faked being asleep, so I could be carried to bed;)

.Used to think that the moon followed our car:>

.Watching two drops of rain roll down window and pretending it was a race\=D/

.The only thing i had to take care of was a school bag

.The only 'fake' friends i had were invisible ones:|

.I used to sing in the shower
8-|

.Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy:O

.Getting a bruised knee healed better than a broken heart:]xx

«Remember when we were kids and couldn't wait to grow up»

Friday, December 14, 2012

THE OSTRICH !


A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to The ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will Be $9.40 please" The man reaches into his pocket and

Pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man Says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" Asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and A salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and Places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and Found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered Me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money Would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a Million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.."

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Law of the Garbage Truck.

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.
My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy could almost ruin your car and sent us to the hospital!'

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

So ... Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a garbage-free Life..!!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Indian students are so disliked in USA?

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said: "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

'Very good!

Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish 'from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class: 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F*** the Indians,'

'Who said that?' she demanded.

Chandrasekhar put up his hand. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said: 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks: 'All right! Now, who said that?' Again, Chandrasekhar says: 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells: 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher: 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said: 'You little shit. If you say anything more, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice: 'Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said: 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'

And Chandrasekhar said quietly: 'I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'πŸ˜œπŸ˜„
πŸ™‡πŸ‘ŒπŸ“

Monday, December 3, 2012

An interesting story shared by my friend. He did not specify whether this actually happened to him or it was told by someone:
(READ TILL END)
I sat with my friend in a well-known coffee shop in a neighboring town of Venice, the city of lights and water. As we enjoyed our coffee, a man entered and sat on at empty table beside us. He called the waiter and placed his order saying: "Two cups of coffee, one of them there on the wall." We heard this order with rather interest and observed that he was served with one cup of coffee but he paid for two. As soon as he left, the waiter pasted a piece of paper on the wall saying 'A Cup of Coffee'.

While we were still there, two other men entered and ordered three cups of coffee, two on the table and one on the wall. They had two cups of coffee but paid for three and left. Also this time the waiter did the same - he pasted a piece of paper on the wall saying 'A Cup of Coffee'

It seemed that this gesture was a norm in this place. However, it was something unique and perplexing for us. Since we had nothing to do with the matter, we finished our coffee, paid the bill and left.

After a few days, we again had a chance to go to this coffee shop. While we were enjoying our coffee, a man entered. The way this man was dressed did not match either the standard or the atmosphere of this coffee shop. Poverty was evident from the look on his face. As he seated himself, he looked at the wall and said to the waiter: "One cup of coffee from the wall." The waiter served coffee to this man with the customary respect and dignity. The man had his coffee and left without paying. We were amazed to watch all this, when the waiter took off a piece of paper from the wall and threw it in the dustbin. Now, it was no surprise for us – the matter was very clear. The great respect for the needy shown by the inhabitants of this town welled up our eyes with tears.

Coffee is neither a need in our society nor a necessity of life for us. The point to note is that when we take pleasure in any blessing, maybe we also need to think about those people, who appreciate that specific blessing as much as we do but cannot afford to have it.

Note the character of this waiter, who is playing a consistent and generous role to get the communication going between the affording and the needy with a smile on his face.

Ponder upon this man in need… he enters the coffee shop, without having to lower his self-esteem… he does not need to ask for a free cup of coffee… without asking or knowing about the one, who is giving this cup of coffee to him, he only looked at the wall, placed an order for himself, enjoyed his coffee and left.

When we analyze this story and its characters, we need to remember the role played by the wall that reflects the generosity and care of the dwellers of this town.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call as soon as possible, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy's father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the dad yelled:
"Why did you take all this time to come? Don't you know that my son's life is in danger? Don't U have any sense of r
esponsibility?"



The doctor smiled & said:
"I am sorry, I wasn't in the hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call...... And now, I wish you'd calm down so that I can do my work"

"Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??" said the father angrily

The doctor smiled again & replied: "I will say what Job said in the Holy Book "From dust we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God". Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go & intercede for your son, we will do our best by God's grace"

"Giving advises when we're not concerned is so easy" Murmured the father.



The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy,
"Thank goodness!, your son is saved!" And without waiting for the father's reply he carried on his way running. "If U have any question, ask the nurse!!"

"Why is he so arrogant? He couldn't wait some minutes so that I ask about my son's state" Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: "His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son's surgery. And now that he saved your son's life, he left running to finish his son's burial."

Moral-Never judge anyone….. because U never know how their life is & what they're going through"

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Its love, when a little girl puts her energy to
give dad a head
massage.
Its love, when a wife makes tea for husband
and take a sip
before him.
Its love, when a mother gives her son the best
piece of cake.
Its love, when your friend holds your hand
tightly on a slippery
road.
Its love, when your brother messages you and
asks did you
reach home on time..
Love is not just a guy holding a girl and going
around
the city.
Love when you send a small message to your
friends to make them smile
Love is actually a name of "Care" :)
Work Pressure...
________________________________________
Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with keys..
_________________________________________
Me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants . And as I finished..
I started walking towards the wash basin with Plates in my hand..
_________________________________________
Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "Why is she not attending the weekly status call?"
_________________________________________
I don't login to facebook, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home… thinking it will be blocked any way. Till I realize – I am at home.
_________________________________________
Yeah sometimes it does happens with me also. keeping hands in front of tap waiting for water to drop by itself is very frequent with me. I just forget that we have to turn on and off the tap….
_________________________________________
Once after talking to one of my friends
I ended the conversation saying, "Ok bye…in case of any issues will call u back"
_________________________________________
Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe it's in the recycle bin ! _________________________________________
Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab….pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg….. I replied 256mb….thank god he didn't notice.
_________________________________________
And I – after a hectic week, went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the Theatre Screen…


So avoid working so hard ! Have a ggvreat work-life balance....!!!!

Monday, November 5, 2012

In dis world of Facebook wer u get hundred friends ON REQUEST,its very confusing 2 maintain a true relation2day wer d essence of Luv is instantly decided by Emotional Atyaachar & Axe Ur Exits very baffling 2 define wat TRUE LUV isIn earlier days,lovers hardly talked 2 each other yet dey xperienced ETERNAL Luv whereas 2day v spend countless sleepless nites talkin or textin 2 each oder yet finally end up wit a BREAK-UP leavin d true hearted personD closer v cum,D farther v go21st century is full of Reality shows wid nthg REAL in it,Too many well-designed houses yet BROKEN HOMES,Attractive & Beautiful Faces yet d UGLIEST HEARTSIts full of Smart People,Brilliant Minds,Ambiguous Diplomats yet lack d common touch of HUMANITYA 1 line msg has bcame far easier dan personal presence on special occasionsV r ol Men & Women but just by wearing a Being Human Tshirt,v dnt bcum Human!!
We all meet someone new everyday...*_*
yet sometimes we feel left out..:(
Thousands of reasons to be happy...:D
yet
someone's tears makes us forget all those
reasons..
Many a times we couldn't speak what we
actually want to...
And sometimes we fail to express what we
actually want to..:$
Life is a long journey of meeting,breaking
up, fighting, laughing with people whom we
adore... ;;)
but we often fail to value them
when time comes...X_X
Speak up the truth... cry if you don't
wanna lose that person..<3<3
Be the 1st one to
hug your bestie... ({})
and take a step back
silently if you see you are needed no
more...
Coz as the saying goes...You haven't lived
a perfect life until you owe someone...
something which they can never repay
back...?
Kabhi Pehli Bar School Jane Mein Dar Lagta Tha, Aur Aaj Har Raste Khudi Hi Chunte Hain.

Kabhi Maa Ki Har Baat Sachi Lagti Thi, Aur Aaj Unhi Se Jhooth Bolte Hain.

Kabhi Choti Si Chot Kitna Rulati Thi, Aur Aaj Dil Toot Jata Hai Phir Bhi Sambhal Jate Hain.

Kabhi Pass (to clear) Hone Ke Liye Saath Padhate The, Aur Aaj Paas (to be close) Hone ko Taraste he.

Kabhi Dosto Ke Jokes Acche Lagte The, Aur Aaj Reality Shows Acche Lagte Hain.

Kabhi Class Seats Dur Par Dil Pass The, Aur Aaj Multiplex Me Seats Pass Par Dil Dur Hain.

Kabhi Tension Ka Meaning Teachers Samjate The, Aur Aaj Hum Tension Par Book Likh sakte Hain.

Kabhi Ladkiyo Ke Kaaran Kuch Dost Jani Dushman The, Aur Aaj Wahi Dost Jaan Se Zyada Pyare Lagte Hain.

Kabhi Din The Jab Pal Me Larna, Pal Me Manana The, Aur Aaj Ek Baar Jo Juda Hue To Raste Tak Kho Jate Hain.

Sachi, Zindagi Ne Bahut Kuch Sikha Diya, Mujhe Meri Saaso (Dosto) Se Judaa Kar Diya Hain.

Na Jane ZINDAGI Ne Humko Itni Jaldi Bada Kyun Bana Diya..!!
This is an amazing story of the 99 club.

There was one king, since he had lots of responsibilities he was always stressed. He used to see a farmer who was very happy. He was very happy with his farming and family, he had no stress, he used to work hard but enjoy his work and was contented with his life.

King always wondered how can this farmer be so contented, even after he doesn't have luxurious life. The king asked this his minister to find out the reason behind the farmer's containment.

The minister observed that the farmer was happy because he didn't had anything to worry about. He used to work hard, to earn his bread and butter and because he worked hard he got better sleep. He was happy with his family and farming.

The minister then kept a small bag with 99 gold coins outside his house. Next day when the farmer saw the bag he was ecstatic. He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. 'What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!' he wondered. He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he would have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.

From that day he started to work really hard and hard, and could not give enough attention to his family. He was completely focused on earning that one more coin. He stopped enjoying his work. The king observed this and asked his minister what happened to him, why is he no more contented? The minister replied that he has joined our club of 99.

The 99 club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented because they're always striving for that extra one. They always tell themselves, "Let me get that final one and then I'll be happy for life".

We can be happy even with very little in our life, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want more!!! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us. We lose all this at a price of our growing greed and desire.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur money or ur life... The wives want both !
====

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.

===

Searching these keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, "Good day sir, Even we are searching".

===

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

===

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

===

A friend recently explained, why head refuses to get married.
He says, "The wedding rings look like a miniature handcuffs".

===

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she
love the most; and when a man does that... the slide show begins.

===

It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers to protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home --------- A Good Maid

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur money or ur life... The wives want both !

====

Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

====

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.

===

Searching these keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, "Good day sir, Even we are searching".

===

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

===

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

===

A friend recently explained, why he refuses to get married.
He says, "The wedding rings look like a miniature handcuffs".

===

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she
love the most; and when a man does that... the slide show begins.

===

It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers to protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home --------- A Good Maid!

===

Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen
--
--
--


of them.

===

and now the latest & the best of all

Imagine, living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house
for 5 years. Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself !!!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Just loved these lines about LIFE.. When I got enough confidence, the stage was gone..
When I was sure of losing, I won.. When I needed people the most, they left me..
When I learnt to dry my tears, I found a shoulder to cry on..
When I mastered the skill of hating, Someone started loving me from the core of one's heart and while waiting for light for hours when I fell asleep the sun came out.. That's LIFE!
No matter what you plan you never know what life has planned for you.. Live the moment. Live the suspense. Be surprised!!
Dictionary says that 'Open' and 'Close' are opposites.,
But lessons of life teach tat we are 'Open' to only with whom we are 'Close'..!!!
Ek lafz hai (MOHABBAT)
isse kar k dekho tum tadap naa jao to kehna!
Ek lafz hai (MUQADDAR)
is se lad ke dekho tum haar na jao toh kehna!
Ek lafz hai (WAFA)
Zamane mein nahin milti.. kahin dhoond pao to kehna!
Ek lafz hai (AANSU)
Dil mein chhupa kar dekho.Tumhari aankhon se na nikle toh kehna!
Ek lafz hai (JUDAAI)
isse seh kar toh dekho tum toot ke bikhar na jao toh kehna!
Ek lafz hai (KHUDA)
Usse pukaar kar toh dekho sab kuch paa naa lo toh kehna..

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

ME and MY BOSS

When I Take a long time to finish,
I Am Slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
He Is Thorough

When I don't do it,
I Am Lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
He Is Busy,

When I do something without being told,
I Am Trying To Be Smart,
When my boss does the same,
He Takes The Initiative,

When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating,

When I make a mistake,
I Am An Idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's Only Human.

When I am out of the office,
I Am Wondering Around.
When my boss is out of the office,
He's On Business.

When I am on a day off sick,
I Am Always Sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He Must Be Very Ill.

When I apply for leave,
I Must Be Going For An Interview.
When my boss applies for leave,
It's Because He's Overworked

When I do good,
My Boss Never Remembers,
When I do wrong,
He Never Forgets

Dedicated to all Salaried people.

Monday, October 29, 2012

About Service Tax in India..... how the restaurants loot your money ... Be aware

Ramanathan Hariharan updated his status: "Surprisingly after reading about the "Service Tax", I strongly decided to share this information to
everyone.

This happened at the restaurant. Let me explain.
We had been to several restaurants recently. I observed that "service tax" has been mis-used and charged to the customers like you and me.

Let me give an example.

Food and Beverage = Rs. 1000.00
Service Charges @ 10% = Rs. 100.00 (10% on the Food and beverage amount)
Service Tax @ 4.94% = Rs. 54.34 (4.94% on F&B + Service Charges)
VAT @14.5% = Rs. 145.00
Total = Rs. 1299.34

As per the definition - "Service Tax can be charged only for the services provided to the customer".

Now, see what is happening here in the above said example.

Service Tax should be charged only on the Service Charges amount i.e Rs.100 and not on the entire amount (1000+100).

In this example, the customer should be charged only Rs 4.94, whereas he has been charged Rs. 49.00 extra.

Where does this money go? Only the restaurant owner and the chartered accountants who work for them know.

So, I have started asking them the questions - and surprised to see the reactions from the famous restaurants. Either they say: Sir we cannot change the format of the bill so , we will recalculate and tell you the revised amount. You may pay only that.

Sir, you do not need to pay the Service Tax amount itself.

I now have 3 to 4 restaurant bills, for which I have paid only the service tax - on the service charges and not on the total amount.

Every bill must carry the TIN number and Service Tax Number, if they charge it. So, I ask for the Service tax number if it is n if they charge it. So, I ask for the Service tax number if it is not available in the receipt that they provide.

We cannot go to any government official and ask them to get this right - because of our system.

Please remember - we cannot change any political leader - but we can change ourselves. If we change ourselves - things will change.

Please do share this with every one of your friends and known people.

Ask for the right tax calculation and pay only the tax which is supposed to be paid. Verify every bills and receipts that you make payment on.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Whoever said Alcohol is harmful ???

- 2 Rounds Of Brandy
30 Minutes Before Meal, Helps Digestion. πŸ‘

- 1 Glass Of Beer After Waking Up, Helps Activate Internal Organs. πŸ‘

- 1 Round Of Scotch Whiskey Before Sleep, Avoids Heart Attacks. πŸ‘

- 1 Glass Of Wine Before Bath, Reduces Blood Pressure. πŸ‘

- 2 Pegs Of Vodka Before Every Meeting, Helps Quick Decisions.

Pass It To All You Care.
Kindness Costs Nothing..!!! CHEERS..!!!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

A Sardar who is in Australia goes to Woolworths (A grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to checkout.

The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Sardar to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food.

The Sardar goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.

Next week the Sardar finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out.

The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids.

He asks the Sardar to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food.

The Sardar goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.

Next week the Sardar comes to Woolworths with a bag, he asks the manager to put his hand in the bag.

The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels some thing slimy and immediately takes it out. He shouts at the Sardar, "What the fuck is this? Is this shit you Idiot?!"

The Sardar calmly replies, "Yes, and I want to buy toilet paper." =

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

13 Best moments of life: -To fall in love. -To clear your last exam. -To wake up and realize its still possible to sleep. -To get a phone call saying class is cancelled. -To feel butterflies every time you see THAT
PERSON.. -To see an old friend again and to feel that things
have not Changed.. -To touch the fingers of newly born child.. -Speaking to an old friend on sunday evening.. -Waiting for a call or message from your loved one
when you are alone.. -Walking alone on a silent road at night and
listening to your favourite songs.. -Riding on a highway while its raining -Speaking to the special one on phone while
standing infront of the mirror.
Haha....Feels just Awesome..:) -and the last one is 'rite
now'..
while reading this there was constant smile on
your face..
which was one of the best moments I believe..!
Keep smiling, It realy suits u...! :)

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Read this Msg as slow as you can, This is undoubtfully the all time best Msg :
" WAQT NAHI "
Har khushi Hai Logon Ke Daaman Mein,
Par Ek Hansi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
.
Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
.
Maa Ki Loree Ka Ehsaas To Hai,
Par Maa Ko Maa Kehne Ke liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
.
Saare Rishton Ko To Hum Maar Chuke,
Ab Unhe Dafnane Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
.
Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
.
Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
.
Aankhon Mein Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
.
Dil Hai Ghamo Se Bhara Hua,
Par Rone Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
.
Paison ki Daud Me Aise Daude,
Ki Thakne ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
.
Paraye Ehsaso Ki Kya Kadar Karein,
Jab Apne Sapno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
.
Tu Hi Bata Ae Zindgi,
Iss Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga.
.
"Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi..!"

Friday, October 19, 2012

A couple were driving at 70mph down the road, husband behind the wheel.
The wife suddenly says "Honey, I know we've been married twenty years but I want a divorce."
He says nothing but increases the speed to 80mph.
She says "Now don't try to talk me out of it, I've been screwing your best friend for sometime now and he IS better at sex than you."
He stays quiet, but speeds up to 90mph.
She says "I want the house and the car." (He is now doing 100mph.)
"I want the bank accounts and the credit cards too." she says.
The husband starts to veer towards the side of the road and a large grove of trees.
The wife gets nervous and asks "Isn't there ANYTHING you want?"
"No, I've got all I need."
"Oh really, so what exactly do you have?"
Just before they hit the tree at 120mph he smiles and says "The fucking air-bag"

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

FUNNY INTERVIEW
Officer: What Is Your Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer: Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Father's Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It ?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir
Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate : Mind-blowing Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Now over,You May Go Now
Candidate : M P. Sir
Office : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance....?
Officer: M P !!!
Candidate: What Is That Sir..?
Officer :Mentally Puncture

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.
The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'
The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.' She hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.


The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No.. I think now I'll just wait for the police:> ...
Moral- never mess with women
"Every Husband must Read
This" ....Even wife can also...:)
Love her .when she sips on your
coffee or tea. She only wants to make
sure it tastes just right for you.
Love her.when she "pushes" you to
pray. She wants to be with you in
Jannat...(Paradise).
Love her.when she asks you to play
with the kids. She did not "make"
them on her own.
Love her...when she is jealous. Out of
all the men she can have, she chose
you
Love her.when she has annoying
little habits that drives you nuts. You
have them too.
Love her.when her cooking is bad.
She tries.
Love her.when she looks dishevelled
in the morning. She always grooms
herself up again.
Love her.when she asks to help with
the kids homework. She only wants
you to be part of the home.
Love her...when she asks if she looks
fat. Your opinion counts, so tell her
she's beautiful.
Love her.when she looks beautiful.
She's yours so appreciate her.
Love her...when she spends hours to
get ready. She only wants to look her
best for you.
Love her.when she buys you gifts
you don't like. Smile and tell her it's
what you've always wanted.
Love her.when she has developed a
bad habit. You have many more and
with wisdom and politeness you have
all the time to help her change.
Love her.when she cries for
absolutely nothing. Don't ask, tell her
its going to be okay
Love her.when whatever you do is
not pleasing. It happens and will pass
Love her.when she stains your
clothes. You needed a new one
anyway :p
Love her.when she tells you how to
drive. She only wants you to be safe.
Love her.when she argues. She only
wants to make things right for both
Love her.she is yours. You don't
need any other special reason!!!!
All this forms part of a Woman's
Character. Women are part of your
life and should be treated as the
Queen.
The Messenger of God (peace be
upon him) advised concerning the
woman:
• Treat the women well.
• The best of you are those who are
the best in the treatment of their
wives.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

A HR Manager, His Assistant, An Old Woman And Her Young Daughter Are Travelling In A Train And During The Course Of Time Get Themselves Introduced To Each Other And Become Temporary Friends...

The Train Goes Through A Tunnel And It Gets Completely Dark. Suddenly There Is A Kissing Sound And Then A Slap !!!

The Train Comes Out Of The Tunnel... The Women And The Assistant Are Sitting There Looking Perplexed... The Manager Is Bending Over Holding His Face, Which Is Red From An Apparent Slap. All Of Them Remain Diplomatic And Nobody Says Anything...

The Old Woman Is Thinking: These Managers Are All Crazy After Girls. He Must Have Kissed My Daughter In The Tunnel. Very Proper That She Slapped Him...
The Young Girl Is Thinking: The Manager Must Have Tried To Kiss Me But Kissed My Mother Instead And Got Slapped...
The Manager Is Thinking: Damn It... My Assistant Must Have Kissed The Young Girl. She Might Have Thought It Was Me And Slapped Me...
Now Guess What The Assistant Is Thinking...

Now Hold Your Breath And Read What The Assistant Is Thinking... If This Train Goes Through Another Tunnel I Will Make Another Kissing Sound And Slap My Manager Again... This Rascal Keeps Harassing Me In The Office all the time...>:OX_X=))

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

You all know KBC is Good Business. But have you ever pondered how well?????

Any guesses?????

Let's see ……..

Airtel is charging Rs.6/- per SMS sent for this contest. Assuming there are only 100 entries from

say 10 cities of some 20 districts and 20 states ….....

6(Rs. per SMS) x 100(entries) x 10(cities) x 20(districts) x 20(states) i.e. = 6 x 100 x 10 x 20 x 20 =

Rs.24, 00,000/-.

Rs.24 lakhs in just 20 minutes (from people trying for the Rs.2 lakhs cash prize). Imagine the

scenario if 1000 entries try out from 100 cities?

The figure simply grows by 2 more zeroes and yields a whopping Rs.24 crores !!!!!

And it does not stop there. In practice, it could be another multiple of 100 or a multiple of 1000 on

an average. In that case, it is 24 x 100 crores earnings in just 20 minutes on every episode!!!

And the prize money: A mere Rs.2 crores !!!!! (and from whose pocket ?????)

Smart Business By Siddharth Basu! And the best part of the above calculation is just the SMS

earning!!!!! What about the Ad money ?????

A rough annual profit calculation goes like this:

(2400 x 5 x 4) (episode/month) x 12 = Rs.5, 76,000 crores.

Let even 50% get dissolved in taxes and other payments; still, you will be left with (which includes

even the meagre Rs.480 crores of prize money, i.e., if every episode bags Rs.2 crores prize) – Rs.2,

88,000/- crores profit !!!!! (Only from SMS).

Therefore, a Very Simple Question: "KAUN BANEGA CROREPATI" and your options are –

A) SONY TV

B) AIRTEL

C) AMITABH BACHAN

D) SIDDHARTH BASU

Computerji, iska jawab bataiye....

Answer: All FOUR..!!!!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

There is nothing more expensive than a single drop of female tear!!!

When a single drop comes out, it first mixes with "chanel" eyeliner and "Dior" mascara ;;) ..then when it comes down to the cheek..it mixes with "D&G" blusher :$ and in case it touches the lips, it gets mixed with "burberry" lipstick :*

^
This means that a single drop is worth atleast Rs 15000 :)

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

This message is beyond all relationships......:)

When I'll be dead....., your tears will flow,.. But I won't know... Cry for me now instead !

you will send flowers,.. But I won't see... Send them now instead !

you'll say words of praise,.. But I won't hear.. Praise me now instead !

you'll forget my faults,.. But I won't know... Forget them now, instead !

you'll miss me then,... But I won't feel... Miss me now, instead

you'll wish... you could have spent more time with me,... Spend it now instead !!

Moral......
''Spend time with every person you love, every one you care for. Make them feel special, for you never know when time will take them away from you forever''. @@@

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

We all meet someone new everyday.. yet sometimes we feel left out..

Thousands of reasons to be happy...yet someone's tears makes us forget all those reasons..

Many a time we couldn't speak what we actually want to...

And sometimes we fail to express what we actually want to..

Life is a long journey of meeting,breaking up, fighting, laughing with people whom we adore... but we often fail to value them when time comes...

Speak up the truth... cry if you don't wanna lose that person.. be the 1st one to hug your bestie... and take a step back silently if you see you are needed no more..:)

Coz as the saying goes...You haven't lived a perfect life until you owe someone something which they can never repay back...:)
Shane and Phil were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in Melbourne, Australia.
One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Phil said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!'
Shane says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz.
You wanna try it?'
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.
The next morning Phil wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.
In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects.
Nothing!
Then the phone rings. It's Shane. Shane says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?'
Phil says, 'I feel great, how about you?'
Shane says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?'
Phil says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..'
'Yeah, well there's just one thing.'
'What's that?'
'Have you farted yet?'
'No.'
'Well, DON'T - cause I'm in New Zealand'

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Y complicate lyf....
Misin smbody?
Call!
Wanna Meet up?
Invite!
wanna b understud?
Explain!
Hv questions?
Ask!
Dnt lyk Smthin?
Say it!
Lyk smthin?
State it!
Want smthin?
Ask fr it!
Luv sm1?
Tel it!
Nobody wil knw wats goin in ur mind
Its btr 2 xpres rather than 2 expect...
U already hv d NO, Take d risk of getin d YES
We jus hv 1 lyf....
KEEP IT SIMPLE SILLY! :)
"Zindagi DOSTON mein mila karti hai,
aur Ye doSt bhi ajeeb hote hai..

Dene pe aaye to jaan dede,
Lene pe aaye to hansi tak chheen le..

Kehne pe aaye to dil k tamam raaz tak keh de,
Chupane pe aaye toh yeh tak na bataye ke khafa kyun hai..

Naraz hone pe aaye to sans tak na lene de,
Manane pe aaye to apni sanso ko vaar de..

Baas ..
'Dost' zindgi mein nahi mila karte. Balki
zindgi DOSTON mein mila karti hai..."

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Having 1 Child Makes You A Parent But Having 2 Makes You A Refree.

Marriage Is A Relationship In Which 1 Person Is Always Right And The Other Is Always Husband.

You Can't Buy Love But You Pay Heavily For It.

Wife And Husband Always Compromise, Husband Admits That He's Wrong And Wife Too Agrees With Him.

Our Language Is Called The Mother Tongue Because The Father Never Gets A Chance To
Speak..! XP=P

Monday, September 10, 2012

A man in his mid forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, then 100, and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn't run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer and he walked away.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Al Gore

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Mike Tyson

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
George Clooney

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Bill Clinton

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
George W. Bush

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Rudy Giuliani

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
Michael Jordan

"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." The third gave me more children!
Donald Trump

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Shaquille O'Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
David Hasselhoff

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Barack Obama

Monday, September 3, 2012

Hve u evr Felt sad dat ur dream wasn't real?

Coughed infront of a smoker to mke him feel guilty? :@

Tried to finish a dream by goin bck to sleep? :O

Charged ur cell fo 5 mins cuz u thot it wud mke a difference? :p

Found money in ur pocket u neva thot u hd? :D

Planned wid ur frnds before u actually ask fo ur parents permission? :-|

Sent a risky text nd felt lyk eternity while waiting fo d reply? :>

Made crazy scenarios in ur head dat won't actually eva happen? %-)

Felt a moment of joy wen u saw ur crush smile at u? ;)

Datz life :D
Every moment is special :)

Friday, August 31, 2012

Beautiful and Stunning message!
Stay away from Anger.. It hurts ..Only You!  If you are right then there is no need to get angry, And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry. Patience with family is love, Patience with others is respect, Patience with self is confidence and Patience with GOD is faith. Never Think Hard about the PAST, It brings Tears... Don't think more about the FUTURE, It brings Fear... Live this Moment with a Smile, It brings Cheer.  Every test in our life makes us bitter or better, Every problem comes to make us or break us, The choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.  Search for a beautiful heart not a beautiful face. Beautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful. Do you know why God created gaps between fingers? So that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.  Never forget this advice!  Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong, Sorrows keep You Human, Failures keeps You Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But Only God keeps You Going

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Girls r over imaginative..
A boy sends a text

Boy: Hey

Girl (to herslf): OMG..he jst txtd me..I wondr wat he wnts..maybe he just wnts to
talk..or maybe he's mad at me, but all he said was hey..I should jst answer him,
dnt wnt to keep him waitin..
well maybe I'll wait another 3 minutes so he thinks Im busy..
no, that's too obvious. Could this mean he's into me? Or is he just bored? Either way is fine, I mean I don't care if he likes me back. Who said that I even liked him? huh.. I'm gonna text back now.
Should I reply hi or hey. Hey with 3 y's? No thats stupid. 2 y's work. He wont know if I did it on purpose or if it was accidental. Ok! I got this.
Breathe in, breathe out.

Girl: Heyy !!!

Boy: plz mark my attandence at college!!!
Pencil: I'm sorry.

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry, you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself and get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true, but I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this, I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong, even though one day I know I'll be gone. I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying I hate seeing you sad.

"Our Parents are like the eraser, whereas we children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way they get hurt and become smaller (older and eventually pass on) Take care of your Parents, treat them with kindness and most especially love them."

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".

"I remember that too", she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"
This has to be one of the best messages i have received in a long time because when you sit and think about it....

It is so true...!!

Law of the Garbage Truck.

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.

My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy could almost ruin your car and sent us to the hospital!'

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally.Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

So ... Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a garbage-free Life..!!

and

Remember "Forget" & "Forgive" are two Great words .. :)

Monday, August 27, 2012

Superb! =)) Joe was a house keeper who had this habit of drinking from his boss's liquor bottle and replacing it with water. The boss, James, did suspect him but tolerated it for a while. But when this became a daily routine, James decided to do something to trap Joe. Accordingly, James replaced his drink with a French wine which changed color when water was added to it. Joe, not aware of the trap, took a few swigs and added water as usual. The wine changed color from red to milky white. Joe realized he was in for trouble but was determined to
get out of it. James told his wife about Joe's misdoings and that he would
make Joe accept his follies.
So he shouted:
"Joe? " Joe answered from the kitchen: "Yes boss?"
James: "Who drank my wine and
added water in the bottle?"
There was no answer from the kitchen. The boss repeated the question, still no answer. The angry boss marched to the kitchen and threatened Joe,
"What the hell is going on? When I call your name you respond with 'Yes Boss' and when I ask you a question, you
remain silent. What impertinence?"
Joe said: "It is like this. In the kitchen, you can hear only your name being called. You don't hear anything else that is said, I swear."
James: "How is that possible? All right, I will prove you wrong. You stay right here in the hall with Madam, I will go to the
kitchen and you ask me a question, OK?" So the boss went to the kitchen.
Joe shouted: "Boss?"
Boss: "Yes Joe?"
Joe: "Who becomes intimate with the maid in Madam's absence?"
Silence - no reply.
Joe again: "Who made the maid pregnant?"
No reply.
Joe, yet again: "And who arranged for her abortion?"
James came running from the
kitchen and said: "By George, you are right. When one is in kitchen, one can't hear anything but one's name. That's strange!
There was a meeting of all the Sardar πŸ‘³ freedom fighters.

They were planning for a free Punjab.

Santa Singh raised a point, "Oye... We will take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"

That was a tough one indeed.

Banta Singh had a brainwave... "No problem! We will attack America, we will lose and it would take over us nd then we would become a State of USA nd develop automatically. Even we all will become direct citizens of USA. No more need for VISA & Green Card.

All the Sardars became happy 😊 with this very simple solution but an old Sardar was not..

Someone asked him why he wasnt happy. πŸ˜’


The old Sardar replied, "THATS ALL VERY WELL...

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE WON AND TOOK OVER AMERICA ???"😳

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Indian Politician USA gaya apne dost (American Congressi) se milne

Uska ghar bahot khubsurat tha.

Indian : Itna khubsurat ghar kaise banaya?
American: Wo samne bridge nazar arha hay ?
Indian : haan
American: Uska 10% apni jeb may...

Phir American India aya to heraan reh gaya k Indian ka ghar us se bhi zada khubsurat hay

American: Tum ne kese bnaya itna khubsurat ghar??
Indian : Wo samne bridge nazar araha hay??
American: nahi

Indian : ..hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha.=))

Friday, August 24, 2012

All the girls will understand this one :-
"You remember that scene from film maker Karan Johar's 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham?' The Diwali scene, where amidst all the celebration, song and dance Jaya Bachchan smiles benignly and then something in her just awakens, she starts quivering as Shahrukh Khan steps down from the Raichand chopper, running to greet his mother. That glorious, happy, emotional moment which depicts unconditional love? That! Yes that is exactly how my mother, my wife, aunts, sisters & women friends feel and react when they see their Maid return after their holidays" =D =)):)
Ek baar railway-station par
1 budha
aadmi
baitha train ka intejaar kar
rha tha..
. Waha Pappu aaya aur uss budhe se pucha:
"ancle, time kya hua hai...??
Budha: "mujhe nahi pata.."
Pappu: "lekin aapke hath
me ghadi to hai.
Plz bata dijiye na kitne baje hai..? Budha:
ghanta, mai nahi bataunga..!
Pappu: "par kyu..?
Budha: "abe q ki agr mai tujhe
time bata
dunga to tum mujhe thanx bologe aur
apna
name bataoge.. Phir tum
mera name, kaam puchoge.
Phir shayad hum log apas
me aur bhi baat
krne lage,
Hum 2no me jaan- pehchan ho
jayegi to
shayad train aane par tum
bagal wali seat par baitho.
Fir shayad tum bhi usi
staion par utro jaha
mujhe utarna hai.
Waha meri beti, jo bahut
khoobsurathai, mujhe lene station aayegi.
Tum mere saath hi
hoge to pakka tum use
dekhoge..
wo bhi tumko dekhegi
shayad tum 2no ek dusre ko dil de baitho aur
shadi krne ki jid
krne lago.
Isliye bhai, mujhe maaf
karo.! Mujhe aisa
kangaal damad nahi chahiye jiske paas time dekhne ke
liye apni ghadi
tak nhi hai...

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Life is like a Party. You invite a lot of people. Some leave early, Some come late, Some stay! ... Some laugh with you, Some at you! Some don't come! ...
But in the end, after the fun, there will be a few who will stay and help clean up the mess with you. And most of the time, those were the ones who didn't even make the mess.
Well, Those Are The People You Should Worry About Losing! ... The Rest Just Come And GO!" :)

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A blind man enters a bar orders a drink and yells: Hey, you wanna hear a Sardar joke?

In deep husky voice man next to him says: Before you tell that joke Sir I think it is fair given that you are blind that you know 5 things:

1 Bartender is Sardar

2 Bouncer is Sardar

3 I'm a 6 feet tall, 260 lb Sardar with a black belt

4 man sitting next to me is Sardar and is a professional weightlifter

5 man to your right is Sardar n a professional wrestler

Now think about it Do you still wanna tell that joke?

Blind man thinks for a second shakes his head and declares:

Nah

Who's gonna explain it 5 times X_X

Monday, August 20, 2012

A plane was about to crash and there were only 4 parachutes. Meanwhile there were 5 people on board..

The 1st person was Tendulkar
and he said: "You know I'm the world's best cricketer, so I can't die now"
he took 1 parachute and left..B-)

The 2nd who was Anil Ambani said:
"You know I'm the richest man in
India and I'm not that old to die"
so, he took the 2nd parachute
and left..>=)

Indian Prime Minister Manmohan said:
"You know I'm the smartest prime minister in the world, so I can't die now"
he took 1 and left.. =))=D

It was left with Anna Hazare and
A little schoolgirl.

Anna hazare said to her: "Take the last 1, I will sacrifice my life for you.." X_X

The little girl replied: "But there are two parachutes left, Manmohan took my school bag.."
1. God won't ask what kind of car u drove;
He'll ask how many people u drove who didn't hav transportation ?
2. God won't ask the square footage of ur house;
He'll ask how many people u welcomed into ur home ?
3. God won't ask about the clothes u had in ur closet;
He'll ask how many u helped 2 clothe ?
4. God won't ask what ur highest salary was;
He'll ask if u compromised ur character 2 obtain it ?
5. God won't ask what ur job title was;
He'll ask if u performed ur job 2the best of our ability ?
6. God won't ask how many friends u had;
He'll ask how many people 2 whom u were a friend ?
7. God won't ask in what neighborhood u lived;
He'll ask how u treated ur neighbors ?
8. God won't ask about the color of ur skin;
He'll ask about the content of ur character ?
9. God won't ask why it took u so long 2 seek Salvation;
He'll lovingly take u2 ur mansion in heaven & not to the gates of Hell !

Friday, August 17, 2012

For the 1st time something on a MAN, Do read it

Who is a MAN?

A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation who starts compromising at a very tender age.

He sacrifices his chocolates 4 sister.

He sacrifices his dreams 4 just smile on his parents face.

He spends his entire pocket money on buyng gifts 4 the girl he loves just 2 see her smiling

He sacrifices his full youth 4 his wife & children by working late @ night without any complain.

He builds their future by takng loans from banks & repayng them 4 lifetime.

He struggles a lot & still has 2 bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss.

His mother, wife & boss all try 2 control him.

His life finally ends up only by compromising 4 others happiness.

Respect every male in your life.
U will never know what he has sacrificed 4U.

Worth sending 2 every man 2 make him smile & every woman 2 make her realize his worth!!
For the 1st time something on a MAN, Do read it

Who is a MAN?

A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation who starts compromising at a very tender age.

He sacrifices his chocolates 4 sister.

He sacrifices his dreams 4 just smile on his parents face.

He spends his entire pocket money on buyng gifts 4 the girl he loves just 2 see her smiling

He sacrifices his full youth 4 his wife & children by working late @ night without any complain.

He builds their future by takng loans from banks & repayng them 4 lifetime.

He struggles a lot & still has 2 bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss.

His mother, wife & boss all try 2 control him.

His life finally ends up only by compromising 4 others happiness.

Respect every male in your life.
U will never know what he has sacrificed 4U.

Worth sending 2 every man 2 make him smile & every woman 2 make her realize his worth!!
Sardhar and Sindhi entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, Sardar stole 3 chocolate bars.

As they left the store, Sardar said to Sindhi: "Man I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, u cant beat that"


Sindhi replied: "You wanna see something better, let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing"


So they went to the counter and Sindhi said to the Shop boy: "Do you wanna see magic?" Shop boy replied: "Yes."Sindhi said: "Give me one chocolate bar." The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it. He asked for the second, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too.


The shop boy asked: "But where's the magic?" Sindhi replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find them."

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A plane is on its way to Chandigarh, when Gurpreet in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket she then tells Gurpreet that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

Gurpreet replies, "I'm Sardarni, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chandigarh and I'm staying right here."

the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot.

The co-pilot goes back to Gurpreet and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. Gurpreet replies, "I'm Sardarni, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chandigarh and I'm staying right here."

The pilot says, "You say she is a sardarni? I'll handle this; I'm married to a sardarni. I speak sardar's language."

He goes back to Gurpreet and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, I'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy..

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

"I told her, "first class isn't going to Chandigarh."X_X

Sunday, August 12, 2012

If one day we all are allowed to

put our troubles on a table and exchange those.

After few moments , everyone would silently come & take their own.....

Friday, August 10, 2012

A father put his three year old

daughter to bed,

told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying

'God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.'


The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?'

The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.'

The next day grandpa died..



The father thought it was a strange coincidence.


A few months later the father put the girl to bed and


listened to her prayers, which went like this:

'God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.'


The next day the grandmother died.

Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.



Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say,

'God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.'


He practically went into shock.

He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.

He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.


He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day

he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.


Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.


When he got home his wife said

'I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?'

He said 'I don't want to talk about it; I've just spent the worst day of my life.'


She said 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE.


He asked 'What'??????

She said 'This morning our neighbor James suddenly died.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

A sindhi comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'

'Sand,' answered the sindhi.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sindhi all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sindhi, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sindhis shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the sindhi.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the sindhi, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the sindhi doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad .

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about.I can't sleep. It will just be between you and me, can you let me know what are you smuggling?'

The sindhi, sips his Lassi and says, "Bikes" :D

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Tha Main Neend Mein
Or
Mujhe Itna Sajaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Bade Hi Pyar Se
Mujhe Nehlaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Najane Tha Wo Konsa Ajab Khail
Mere Ghar Mein,
.
Bac'chon Ki Tahra'n
Mujhe Kandhe Pe Uthaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Tha Paas Mere Mera Har Apna Us Waqt,
Phir Bhi Main Har Kisi K Mu Se Bulaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Jo Kabhi Dekhte Bhi Na Thy,
Muhabbat Ki Nigha Se,
Un K Dil Se Bhi Pyar Mujh Pe Lutaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Maloom Nahi Heran Tha Har Koi
Mujhe Sota Hua Dekh Kar,
Zor Zor Se Ro Kar Mujhe Hansaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Kaan'p Ut'thi Meri Rooh,
Mera Wo Makaa'n Dekh Kar,
Pata Chala Mujhe DAFNAYA Ja Raha Tha,
.
Ro Pada Phir Main Bhi Apna Wo Manzar
Dekh Kar
Jahan Mujhe Hamesha K Liye Sulaya Ja Raha Tha.........
</div>
This one is Best so Far about Ladies -

After a meeting a I was comming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys.  They were not in my pockets.  A quick search in the meeting room it wasnt there,
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.  
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
His theory is that the car will be stolen. Immediately I rushed to the parking lot , I came to a terrifying conclusion.  
His theory was right.  The parking lot was empty. 
 
I immediately called the police.  I gave them my location, car no/description of car/placed i parked etc, i equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband, "Honey," I stammered; I always call him "honey" in times like these. 
"I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen." 
 
There was a period of silence.  I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.  
"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."  

 
He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."??
</div>

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I was touched by this message.
Hope you give it a thought.
Beautiful and Stunning message!

Stay away from Anger.. It hurts .. Only You!  

If you are right then there is no need to get angry,

And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.
Patience with family is love,

Patience with others is respect,

Patience with self is confidence,

Patience with GOD is faith.

Never Think Hard about the PAST,
It brings Tears...

Don't think more about the FUTURE, It brings Fear...

Live this Moment with a Smile, It brings Cheer.  

Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,

Every problem comes to make us or break us,

The choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.  

Search for a beautiful heart not a beautiful face.

Beautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful.

Do you know why God created gaps between fingers?

So that someone who is special, comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.  

Never forget this advice!  

Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong, Sorrows keep You Human, Failures keeps You Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But Only God keeps You Going!
</div>

Many peaple make fun of sikhs by teasing them and telling its 12'o clock. They say its 12'o clock and now a sikh will go crazy and all. Many has misconceptions and thinks like that and others do just for teasing purpose. Well it's not something like a joke or something like a fun, its not just related to an individual but entire religion. Making a joke of a religion is abusive. Let me tell u the fact about this and after which you will really feel shame if u ever teased or have such mentality about sikhs.

The fact about this:
At the time of Mughal Empire in India there have been cruel mercyless Emperors like  Aurangzeb. Who ruled india and treated people as slaves. They forced people to change there religion and if ignored they use to simply cut them, torture them, and much more worse things u can imagine. Have you ever heard about the girls or women who are sold to arab countries to shaikh buyers?? Well this is a quite old business. At the time of Mughal empire in India , the Mughals use to carry this buisness. Mughals use to attack hindus, and kidnap there women and then those were taken to arab countries. Nothing could be done, all were helpless. At that time a secret army of sikhs was made who were suppose to release these women from mughals and get them back. This secret force of sikhs use to prctice guerrila attacks which is a hidden attack on enemies as this was the only possible way because mughals were very large in count and a front attack would be useless. The force use to attack at night after 12 when mughals who were taking those women use to rest at night. People use to wait for night 12'o clock and when sikh forces use to leave for that attack at night 12, hindus say (in a respectful manner) "sardaro ke 12 baj gaye" which means "sardaro ke barah baj gaye ab hamari behen/ betiyaan ghar aa jaegi". The enemies use to fear sikhs saying "12 baj gaye, sardaron ka aane ka time ho gaya hai".


Now when you understand the real fact about 12'o clock just think how a sikh sardar feels when  someone teases him for whom these sikhs have played on their lives, protected their women. You can't repay a sikh for what he has done for you in any way, we don't even want anything as sikhs have done all that for its motherland, for humanity. If you understand little bit and have some shame upon your thinking then please change your view. We dont ask for anything like repay or something but atleast respect this religion for what it is and for what it has done for you, for country, for humanity.
</div>

Monday, July 30, 2012

That's all a woman wants!

A Plain looking husband.....

A simple wedding ring....

Small wedding party

A simple Honeymoon

A small house for her and kids
Lovely children..

Husband should be a family man, love
kids

But should work hard..

A small car for shopping around

Another car for taking around kids

Some bags

Some shoes for every occasion

Some nice outfits

Overseas trip once a year

Some domestic trips

Romantic Dinners

And Finally some financial
security.

That's ALL..!
</div>

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Kuch Salo Bad Pal Ye Bahut Yad Aayege,

Jab Hum Sab Dost Apni Apni Manzil Par Pahuch Jayenge.

Akele Jab Bhi Honge Sath Gujare Huye Lamhe Yad Aayege.

Paise To Bahut Honge Par Shayad Kharch Karne K Liye Lamhe Kam Pad Jayenge.

Aaj Jyada Msg Aane Par Gussa Karte Hai

Kal Ek Ek Msg Ko Taras Jayenge.

Ek Cup Chai Yaad Dosto Ki Dilayegi,

Yahi Sochte Sochte Fir Se Aankhe Nam Ho Jayengi.

Dil Khol Kar In Palo Ko Jee Lo Yaaro

Zindagi Apna 'Itihas' Fir Nahi Dohrayegi.
</div>

Thursday, July 26, 2012

One day an 11 year old girl asked her daddy,
"What are you going to get me for my 15th birthday?"
The father replied, "There is much time left."

When the girl was 14 she fainted and was rushed to the hospital.
The doctor came out and told her dad she had a bad heart& she is probably gonna die
When she was lying in the hospital bed she said
"Daddy,. have they told you i am going to die ?"
The father replied no you will live as he left weeping.

She said "How can you be sure."
He turned around from the door and said "I know."
.
She turns 15 when she is recovering and comes home to find a letter on her bed. It says ;
"My Dearest Daughter, if you are reading this it means all went well as I told you.

One day you asked me what I was giving you for your 15th birthday,
I didn't know then but now my present to you is MY HEART."
Her father donated his heart?

Moral:
Love your parents. they sacrifice a lot to make us happy, without letting children realize..Many a times we are so busy growing up that we forget that they are also growing old..Spend Quality time with them, treat your parents with loving care, for you will know their value, when you see their empty chair..
</div>

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Things we must be thankful for:

1.Worries at the start of day: Means we are still alive

2.Clothes that don't fit: Means we are getting good food

3.The mess to clean after a party: Means we have friends

4.Roof that needs fixing: Means we have got a house

5.Taxes to pay: Means we aren't unemployed

6.Quarrel with bro and sis: Means we have family

7.A msg on ur mobile: Means you  have someone who  remembers you...  :)):)). .:).
</div>

Thursday, July 12, 2012

In d memory of 90's πŸ‘«
:):)
When d most popular games were "chuppa-chuppi",πŸ™‡
"pakda-pakdi",πŸƒ
"Saakhli"
:):)
when d best delights were "aam papad ",🍘
jaljeera",🍸
"orange candy",🍑
"kismibar",
:):)
when we wer nt allowed 2 watch late nite moviesπŸŽ₯....
when decision were made by "akkad bakkad bambey bow"
.:):)πŸ˜‚
when while playing cricket, rule wer
"ghar me jana out, aur jo marega wahi lekar aayega"
:):)⛳
When d best defensive dialogues were "jo kehta hai wahi hota hai" &
"same 2 u, no return"
.:):)πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ
childish bt awesome uncountable memories...😊😊

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD
A group of Geography students were asked to list what they considered to be the Seven Wonders of the World.
Though there was some disagreement, the following got the most votes:
1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China's Great Wall
While gathering the votes, the teacher noticed one student, a quiet girl, hadn't turned in her paper. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list.
The quiet girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."
The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."
The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:
1. to touch
2. to taste
3. to see
4. to hear
5. to run
6. to laugh
7. and to love
Sometimes we forget what really matters. May you be reminded today of those things which are truly wondrous.?

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

If you have
Food in your fridge
Clothes on your body
A roof over your head
and
A place to sleep
You are richer than 75% of the entire world.

If you have money in your wallet
A little change
And
Can go anywhere you want
You are among the top 18% of the worlds wealthy people.

If you wake up this morning with more health than illness,
You are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week and die.

If you can actually 'READ' this message and understand it,
you are more fortunate than the 3 billion people in the world who
Cannot see
Cannot read
Or suffer mental retardation.

Life is not about complaining pain and sorrows.
It's about a thousand other reasons to thank GOD...

Monday, July 9, 2012

A sailor was stuck in an island wher he was d only survivor.He made a hut 4 his sheltr.He wz waitng 4 sum1 to help, bt no one came.He stord food in da hut 4 his survival,bt 1 day,d hut burnd 2 ashes nd nthng was left of it.He was so angry,he said,"God ,y've u done dis 2 me?"
D next mng rescuer came.Sailor askd,How did u know dat im here?Dey replied
"V saw a smoke signal"

Trust GOD wen misfortune happens.His plans r always different than ours.

Friday, July 6, 2012

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started…
******************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started…=D
******************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace Expensive…
So, I took her to a petrol pump
And then the fight started…
****************************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Kingfisher for 500 rs.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for 300 rs.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream..X_X

And then the fight started….
****************************
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere iv not been in a long time. So I took her to the kitchen. Then the fight started.=D;)

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Some abbreviations not many of us know...

NEWS: North east west south
CHESS: Chariot, horse, elephant, soldiers.
COLD: Chronic Obstructive lung disease.
JOKE: Joys of kids entertainment.
AIM: Ambition in Mind.
DATE: Day and time evolution.
EAT: energy and taste.
TEA: Taste and energy admitted.
PEN: Power enriched in Nib.
SMILE: Sweet memories in Lip expression.
BYE: Be with you every time.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Must Read (y)Worth Sharing @>--
A group of highly educated students visited their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering them coffee, Professor returned from kitchen with a pot of coffee and an assortment of cups- porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee. When all had a cup of coffee in hand,
The professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain ones. While it's but normal for you to want only the best, that's also the source of your stress. What you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, But you still went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups!" :)
If life is coffee, Then jobs, money and status in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life.
Don't let the cups drive you..
Enjoy your coffee more than the cup that holds it! :)

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Relationships are hard now, because conversations become texting, argument becomes phone calls. Feelings becomes status messages, the word love gets used out of context, insecurities have become a way of thinking, getting jealous becomes a habit, trust has been lost, cheating becomes an accident, leaving becomes the only option and being hurt becomes natural..
Harsh but true..!!

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Plz read with heart.


(Mom & DAD) ka Paigaam..



1. Jis Din Tum Hame Budha Dekho Tab
Sabar Karna Aur Hame Samajhne Ki Koshish Karna.


2.Jab Hum Koi Baat Bhool Jaaye Toh Hum Par ghussa Na Karna Aur Apna Bachpann Yaad Karna.


3.Jab Hum Budhe Hokar Chal Na Paaye Toh Hamara Sahara Banna Aur Apna Pehla Qadam Yaad Karna.


4.Jab Hum Beemar Hojaaye Toh Woh Din Yaad Karke Hum Par Apne Paise Kharch Karna Jab Hum Tumhari Khawaishen Puri Karne Ke Liye Apni Khawaishen Qurbaan Karte The.


Plzz share this Beautiful message with everyone
And Respect Ur Parents.


I love u Dad and Mom

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Ek BACHPAN ka ZAMANA tha, khushiyo ka khazana tha..

Chahat Chaand ko pane ki, DIL titli ka Diwana tha..

khabar na thi kuch Subah ki, Na Shaam ka thikana tha..

Thak-haar ke aana school se, Par khelne bhi jana tha..

Dadi ki kahani thi,
Pariyo ka fasana tha..

Barish me kagaz ki kashti thi, Har Mousam suhana tha..

Har khel me Saathi the,
Har Rishta nibhana tha..

Gam ki juban na hoti thi,
Na jakhmo ka paimana tha..
Rone ki wajah na thi,Na hasne ka bahana ..... EK BACHPAN KA JAMANA THa
Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya.
Tabhi usne dekha ek sher uski taraf aa raha hai.
Kutte ki saans ruk gayi.
"Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!"
Phir usne saamne kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi
dekhi.
Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith
gaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosne
laga aur zor zor se bolne laga,
"wah! Sher ko khaane ka mazaa hi kuch aur hai.
Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!"
Aur usne zor se dakaar mara.
.
Is baar sher soch mein pad gayaa,
Usne socha "ye kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai!
Jaan bacha kar bhago!"
Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh
raha tha.
Usne socha yeh mauka achhahai sher ko saari
kahani bata deta hoon isse sher se
dosti ho jayegi aur zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka
khatra dur ho jayega !
.
Woh fatafat sher ke pichhe bhaaga.
Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate huedekh liya !
.
Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise
kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai.
Sher ne zor se kaha,
"chal mere saath abhi uski leela khatam karta
hoon",
aur Bandar ko apni peeth par baitha kar sher
kutte ki taraf lapka. ! !
Can u imagine the quick management by the
DOG..??
.
.
.
.
Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek baar phir uski
taraf peeth karke baith gaya aur zor
zor se bolne laga,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Is Bandar ko bheje huye 1 ghanta ho gaya,
saala ek sher fasaa kar nahi la saka..!!" :)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Interviewer: There are 50 bricks on an airoplane.

If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Applicant: That's easy, 49.

Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Applicant: Open the fridge.
Put the elephant in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Applicant: Open the fridge.
Take the elephant out.
Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.

Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.

Interviewer: Last question.
In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Applicant: Er....I guess she drowned?

Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick fallen frm the airoplane...now u can go :D
A girl was driving when she saw d flash of a traffic camera.

She figured that her picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though she knew that she was not speeding.

Just to be sure, she went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now she began to think that this was quite funny, so she drove even slower as she passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.

She tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while she rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, she got five challans for driving without a seat belt.

Girls!=))=))=))

Monday, May 21, 2012

Must read .. Dedicated to all who have been blessed with their own princess's.

A couple made a deal the night of their marriage to NOT open the door of their room to anybody who comes knocking in the morning for any reason

In the morning the parents of the husband came & knocked on the door

The husband and wife were looking at each other & as they agreed before , they didn't open the door.

After a while the parents of the bride came knocking at the door to check on them

The couple were looking at each other then the bride dropped a tear and started crying

She said : "I cannot keep them knocking & not open the door, I miss them already"

The husband didn't say anything & he let her open the door for her parents.

Years & years passed & the couple had 5 children, the first ones were boys & the 5th was a little girl

When she was born the father was extremely happy that God blessed him with her & he threw a Party for her in grand style

People were so amazed with his joy & his happiness that they asked him, why are you so happy with her more than you were before with her older brothers?

He answered simply:

"She is the one who will open the door for me"

Baby girls are the comfort of the eyes of their father

They hold the key to their mothers hearts

Daughters are really unique. They care for their parents even after they are married

You don't simply hear of daughters abusing their parents.

To all the daughters : YOU ROCK

Thursday, May 17, 2012

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, the bartender asks for their order and the man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."

"Most peple would wish for a million dollars or somethin, but you'll always be as rich as u want!"says the bartender."That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

"That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "Oh, one other thing wats with the ostrich?"

The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs...

MORAL OF D STORY :
Men are brilliant until they think abt a woman =D X_X:p

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Kabhi pehli bar School jane me dar lagta tha.
Aaj akele hi Duniya ghum lete hain.


Pehle Exams ke liye Dost bante the.
Aaj Dosto ke liye exam dete hai.


Kabi choti si chot lagne pe ro dete the.

Aaj Dil tut jane pe bhi sambhal jate hai.


Pehle hum Dosto ke sath rehte the.

Aaj Dost hamari yadon me rehte hai.

Pehle Ladna Manana roz ka kam tha.

Aaj ek bar juda hue to rishte kho jate hai.


Sach me zindagi ne bht kuch sikha dia.Jane kab humko itna bada bana dia.
For the 1st time something gud on a MAN, Do read it...
Who is a MAN?
A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation who starts compromising at a very tender age.
He sacrifices his chocolates 4 sister.
He sacrifices his dreams 4 just a smile on his parents face.
He spends his entire pocket money on buyng gifts 4 the girl he loves just 2 see her smiling

He sacrifices his full youth 4 his wife & children by working late @ night without any complaint.

He builds their future by takng loans from banks & repayng them 4 lifetime.

He struggles a lot & still has 2 bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss.
His mother, wife & boss all try 2 control him.
His life finally ends up only by compromising 4 others happiness.

Respect every male in your life.
U will never know what he has sacrificed 4U.
Worth
sending 2 every man 2 make him smile & every woman 2 make her realize his worth....
Samje ladki log... I ;) :)

Monday, May 14, 2012

Love Her...when she sips on your coffee or drink. She only wants to make sure it tastes just right for YOU

Love Her...when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have, she chose YOU

Love her...when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts. YOU have them too

Love her...when her cooking is bad. She tries for YOU

Love her...when she makes YOU watch corny love dramas while the sport is on. She wants to share these moments with YOU

Love her...when she spends hours to get ready. She only wants to look her best for YOU

Love her...when she buys YOU gifts YOU don't like. She puts in all her savings for YOU

Love her...when often her eyes water suddenly. She actually had a thought of loosing YOU


Take time to make her feel special in every way YOU can & even if YOU don't...


SHE'LL LOVE YOU ANYWAY
Coz its never been about her... its always all about YOU.:)
Why Women Cry
Watch her eyes

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."